Oh it’s that time again when a full on vent is called for. If you choose to skip this post, I don’t blame you folks 🙂
Anyways, for anyone who knows me, I absolutely hate hate hate Winter term at school. I also dislike snow & cold weather. I guess it’s because I’m hitting that point where I am getting anxious from being in school for a while, and there is no extended break in sight (Spring break for us is barely a week long).
Now honestly, I cannot complain; I’m actually in a really happy point in my life. I love the close friends I have established ties with here in Philly. I can finally say I have female best friends (although I love my guy best friends too :D). At the same time, friends at home remember I exist even if I haven’t been in contact in a forever.
Another notch in the happy list: I absolutely adore the field I am studying in. While I don’t know what exactly I want to do with the rest of my life, I know that wherever I go, science (especially biology) will always be with me.
Right now, my two closest friends at university: Naomi & Megan, are looking for an apartment with me to move into for the Spring. I find this incredibly exciting because I love decorating & making spaces homey. Also, I think it’s time to have my own room and stop paying those ridiculous dorm fees.
I’ve also fixed my resume to the point of what I deem is perfection at this point in my career. Instead of trying to flush out the point that I have had many laboratory jobs, I’ve emphasized my various volunteer positions that I’ve held & genuinely enjoyed as well. Not to mention the wording feels right. So although my A-round interview requests may not have been as strong, I have high hopes for B-round. The hard part is getting a request; the actual interview meetings are usually quite fun for me.
And as for more recent news, I have been reassigned at the hospital as an Emergency Department Nurses Aide, which should be both frightening and exciting at the same time. I hope my experience here will be useful in determining whether or not I feel comfortable pursing a career in health care.
So the downside: I feel like I have no time for anything.
Now my schedule doesn’t look all that intimidating, but every hour of my day is planned out, right down to walking time estimates, what clothes to wear so that it’s appropriate to my activities that day (volunteer at hospital versus lab for example), reading & study scheds for classes, trainings for volunteering, ect. It’s removed all spotaneity in my life and that makes me sad.
So I took a random trip in the middle of the night with my roomie Megan. We went to the 30th street train station, got some coffee & donuts and sat down and talked about life. I hate to admit it, but I am human and cannot do everything.
Especially right now, bringing up my GPA is the up most priority for me before graduation. And not to mention I’ve had the unfortunate chance to have 2 science labs (not labs attached to lectures, like actual separate 2-3 credited lab courses) in one term (which mind you is only 10weeks long). Labs are not only time consuming in session, but tedious to prep and do post-work for.
So I’ve made a few changes to survive this term. I’ve taken a little less hours at work. I’ve taken a leave of absence at The Academy of Natural Sciences so I can devote more attention to my new hospital ED volunteer shift. I’ve also decided to take myself off the study abroad program for Egypt. It was a nice dream while it lasted, but I have many things in this country I want to prioritize first. I had feeling as though I’ve given up on some options or even that I’m “quitting,” but I like to think of it in the way Naomi puts it: it’s more responsible to admit when you can’t handle everything early on rather than have it make you miserable and collapse on you.
And thusly, I’ve also decided to schedule in some more “me” time, away from any obligation or planning. I love to be busy rather than bored, but what is the point of being consumed 24/7 if I do not appreciate it? I don’t like being dedicated to everyone else except myself; it doesn’t seem healthy.
The last thing I want to do is become bitter and go through the motions of life. I want to take advantage of the time I have with my friends before they graduate I’d like to set aside time for myself to reflect and make sure I’m going down a path I am happy with career-wise. I’d like to leave allowances for me to take breaks & see my family in different states. I’d like to stay open and aware of relationships I can build stronger and genuinely enjoy to see where they will go.
Post title inspired by “Human After-all” by Daft Punk.