A Transient Phase

Wow, I haven’t blog in such a long while I almost feel strange writing again! This will be a nice, long update from me.

Finals are done and over. Grades for the most part are submitted, and once my History of Science grade is posted tomorrow sometime before 5pm, I can say safely that I have accomplished another successful term academically. Not Deans List good, but given my class and work sched, not bad. One thing crossed off the to-do list!

I’m in a really awkward state this spring break. It’s difficult to really relax when you are thinking in the back of your head “I have a lot of things left unfinished.” For one, I am still looking for an apartment with my two other roommates. Since our lease officially ends by the end of April, we are getting time pressed to commit to a new place.

Also, I’m sad to say I’m still looking for an internship to fulfill my last coop requirement. I have had a very difficult time finding one this year despite whatever experience I have racked up during my short undergrad career. And so the question comes into my mind “what if I don’t find an internship?” Then I have to think about registering for a bunch of job workshops. Also, I want to take advantage that I can take 2 classes over the course of 6 months without any other work obligation. Then, the idea that I should be volunteering at the hospital to get some patient care hours creeps in.

And the tantalizing idea that I will have a normal, summer vacation without a full-time job or classes for the first time in 4 years saunters into my mind, and being unemployed doesn’t sound so bad. I could go to the gym as much as I want. I could go and take city trips into New York to visit friends. I could go to more city events in the Philly area. I could visit my sister & bro-in-law in DC. I could spend long weekends with my parents who miss me dearly. I could be a big girl and actually be a college student, indulging in the bars and clubs nearby. Do all the creative and baking projects I could ever dream of, too

Not having to say for a change: “Sorry can’t. I have to study for (insert class here).” Or “I’ve got work, can’t hang out.” Most weekends it’s like “Homeworks & projects piling up, gotta go. Maybe next time when times are less busy we can go there.”

It’s the first real chance I may have to recharge before the final stretch of my senior year. It would also give me time to think what direction I will go after graduation and plan how to get there with time I have left in my undergrad. The possibilities are actually endless.

Then of course, the idea that I would most definitely get bored by the 3rd week of this so called break also comes into my mind. Not to mention how irresponsible it sounds to just to not have a coop . Not to mention how I desperately need a paycheck.

It’s all just a lot to think about. Especially with my birthday coming up next week. Turning 22 and feeling rather old and like my life is passively whizzing by me is enough as it is.

As usual though, it’s always to better to be busy or actively engaged in thought than not. So in a weird way, I’m kinda happy I’m in the situation I’m in.

Stream of consciousness writing, ftw!


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